Secrets
by Frauggie
Summary: Ludwig is more than he seems, and he's keeping two secrets that are about to be found out. One, he is in fact, a she. And two, she's in love with her brother. Germany x Prussia (M for language and mature content later)
1. Chapter 1

**Hey all, Frauggie here. It's been a long time since I've written something, but I've been in a slump in life, so creativity gets high. This is one I started a long time ago, and am coming back to it to edit a bit, but the concept of the story is one I've always liked. So - read, review, comment, question, and any ideas you have for fanfics go ahead and send me. I read everything, even if I don't reply and it's all welcome^^**

* * *

_Secrets._

_Ludwig had two secrets, one of which no one knew, and the other only one person knew. And it certainly wasn't her brother._

_That's right, Ludwig was a girl, a woman in fact, and the only person to know this was Feliciano, her best friend. There was a reason for all the hugs, the closeness, and the over-friendliness, and that was Feliciano helping Ludwig to hide the fact she was a girl. Well, maybe partly because he really liked that she was softer than she looked and that her chest was not really made of muscle but instead she had the chest of a woman. No, there was only one reason Feliciano knew, and that was because he burst in on her shower some time ago. That was one of the most awkward days in her life. The other that came really close: proposing to Feliciano when she thought they were in love. THAT only ended in disaster, though she did learn the truth - they were best friends: nothing more, nothing less, and they would be forever._

_Ludwig trusted Feliciano, and it was for this reason that she could only turn to him when Francis found out her other secret. How, she didn't know, but that was only the beginning of her troubles._

"Mon _cherie,_" she had to tell herself Francis always spoke this way, that he _didn't_ know she was a girl. "You must succumb to the arms of _amour"_ he stated.

"And be ridiculed and cursed? Not a chance." There was no way she would let this go, and especially let it come to fruition.

"Ve~" Not knowing what to do quite yet as he didn't know the situation, he remained quiet for now.

"But dear," Francis put his hand on her shoulder, making her tense up out of habit. "Nothing will come of it if you don't _tell him."_

"That's exactly what I want. Nothing."

"But Ludwig, ve... don't you want to be happy?" Feliciano questioned why the german was so resistant to love, even when she went so far as to read books on it, as proven by her failed proposal to him. This much he could gather.

"That's not part of the question." _Of course she wanted to be happy. But what good would a wish do when the one she loved was unobtainable?_

"But _mon cherie_, I'm sure he loves you too." Ludwig pushed Francis' hand away, it getting too close for her comfort, and stepped to turn to the both of them.

"No is no. There's no way he could love me, and even if he did it's wrong. Completely and utterly wrong." Feliciano and Francis both realized she looked more down at that thought than she had meant to and smiled at each other, large grins on their faces.

"Don't worry, Luddy, ve... We won't push the issue if you feel so strongly about it." Feliciano and Francis both put their hands on her shoulders, making her look up in confusion.

_They were seriously going to just give up that easily?_ "What's with the snickers on your faces? You're starting to scare me."

"Nothing, my dear, nothing. Since you feel so strongly, we will just drop the issue here, and let you do as you will. Should you ever decide to change your mind and go after this love of yours, feel free to come to either of us, we'll help you out as much as we can!" And with that, Francis removed his hand and turned towards the door, pulling Feliciano with him. "Come my dear Feliciano, I think it's time we discuss our own _problems_."

"Ve, of course! Later Luddy!" With a bright smile he also skipped out the door, leaving Ludwig to her peace and quiet. _They didn't just leave... did they? And after a very short conversation too..._ This was going nowhere good.

"I thought they'd never leave, and here I called Feliciano to help, not hinder. What am I going to do about them? I'm not telling anyone else that I love-" "Oooooi! West! I'm home!" with a resounding _thud_, the door shut closed as Ludwig's older brother, Gilbert walked in. "You home? I thought I saw your car in the driveway..."

"Yes, brother, I'm home, I'm just in the living room." she replied, picking up a book to read. Might as well act as if she had been doing this for a while, and was not unsettled by the visit from Francis and Feliciano.

"Why are you sitting in here reading an unawesomely boring book when you could be outside! Enjoy this Saturday for what it is! And was that Francis and Feli I saw leaving a minute ago? Where are they off to in such a rush?" Plopping down next to Ludwig just made her a little more conscious of him, especially after that whole discussion with Francis and Feliciano. Her skin tingled.

Why of Gilbert? That's the other secret Ludwig held. She was completely and utterly in love with her brother. Oh no they weren't blood brother and sister, Gilbert had found her when she was just a young nation and had raised her since, but they were for all intents and purposes, siblings. As far as Gilbert knew, they were just as good as blood brothers. Not to mention Gilbert hadn't a clue his "brother" was really his sister. Even living with him she'd been able to keep this hidden, using a little extra toilet paper during that time of the month, and since Gilbert always did say she had a "stick up her ass", any extra grumpiness didn't make any difference. Feliciano knew when not to argue back, but he usually ran anyways so that wasn't much of a giveaway.

Bored of just sitting there watching the younger read a book he wouldn't have any remote interest in, Gilbert opted for some excitement. "Come on West! Get up and let's _do_ something! Let's go to the bar for a drink!"

"No thank you, I've had enough excitement for today." Ludwig continued reading, not even pausing to answer.

"But West, you haven't done anything all day, you've only sat there and read your book!" the elder whined.

"I have done plenty, I did laundry, swept and mopped the kitchen and bathroom, cleaned the showers, and have had to entertain and chase out some unexpected guests. I think I can relax a little and enjoy my book." This time she did pause her reading to answer him, ticking off each task with another finger.

"Unexpected guests? So that _was_ Francis and Feli leaving!" with this the elder leaped off the couch and more into Ludwig's lap. "What did they want? Feli here isn't unusual, but Francis? Did he get some juicy gossip on you? Come on West, tell me!"

Looking up from the book the albino had shoved aside in his quest for answers, she fought the blush down responded a lot calmer than she sounded. "No, Feliciano just came by to pick up the leftover pasta and since he was spending the day with Francis, he came along as well."

"You can't fool me with that response West, I know Feli and Francis are friends cause they both like that art shit, but to both come here? They had to have another reason other than picking up some leftover pasta..." Gilbert was right to be wary of course, Feliciano and Francis weren't the type to just show up at the german household on a whim. Well, Feliciano did, but Francis usually only came with Gilbert and Antonio, and that was either before a drinking night, or after a drinking night, dropping him off reeking of beer.

Ludwig wasn't without wit however. "When does Feliciano need a reason when it involves pasta?"

"Hmm... good point." Stumped, Gilbert relaxed and slid off her and back into the couch, resulting in a quiet sigh of relief from the blonde, her familiar frown making an appearance. _Thank gott..._

Ten seconds later, literally, Ludwig counted in her head, he jumped up and stated he was going to make a phone call. She sighed, knowing he'd call Francis and attempt to grill information out him. Another ten seconds passed before she realized Francis had nothing to hide about this, and in fact would find it highly amusing. Scurrying after her brother calling his name left her with the knowledge he was no longer in the house, and instead found his room empty and the window open, the screen dumped on the floor. _Shit._


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey - just a little note from your friendly author: Sorry updates take a long time, but I'm trying to make them worth it too, along with everything else of a busy life. Anyways, read/review, I'm happy to take any opinions!_

* * *

**Chapter 2**

France looked into the rear-view mirror, doing a double take when he saw a head of silver streaking his way on a motorcycle, riding up next to them even on the two lane road they were on. "Mon dieu, I think we have a visitor," he told his passenger.

Italy, jarred from his in-depth discussion on various wines and why the reds were so much fruitier than the whites suddenly looked out the window at the roaring noise of the man on the motorcycle next to him. "Gil-Gil?"

The man on the cycle motioned to them, and Francis nodded, then pulled into a parking lot at the first exit he saw, the motorcycle following. When it skidded to a halt and nearly tipped over before the man pulled off his helmet, his eyes widened. "Gilbert, what in the world?"

The other strode up to Francis, flailing his arms about in actions that never came with something good. Or normal, for that matter. "You... my brother was acting weird, and you show up at our house and not for me... what were you doing with West?!" He demanded, not knowing just how much force he was putting into shaking the blonde man.

"Ve... I can't be at Luddy's?" Italy whined, looking hurt that Gilbert was actually questioning him at the German household. His comment was out of place while the albino had a hold of Francis, but Feliciano wanted to do what he could to diffuse the tension, though it was for naught.

Gilbert turned an open and hanging jaw to the tanned man."Wha-? Oh, not you, you're always over. I was questioning the frenchie here. Swiveling his head back Round he frowned again, and demanded, "So? What did you want with my brother? I refuse to believe you just came with Feli here for some leftover pasta. You hate leftovers." Gilbert then stomped towards and leaned even closer to the Frenchman, nearly leaning on top of him by the time he finished his questioning.

"W-well..." Francis thought for a moment before responding since he had to watch what he said. "You sure you want to know? It's not normally something you'd take interest in, my friend." His voice was fairly steady but for a slight quiver anyone but a close friend would miss. Gilbert was a close friend though, and knew the man well.

"Why wouldn't I?" He demanded, his brows deepening his fron. "West is my brother, and I don't want him doing anything un-awesome! Wait, he does a lot of things that are un-awesome..." Gilbert backed off a little with this revaluation, confused and curious as all hell though his curiosity hadn't died..

"My dear, you don't know your brother at all, do you?" The frenchman dared to smile at him, amusement seeping through his features as he picked up on the hesitation and confusion in the other's eyes.

Gilbert's gaze slid back up to him, his eyelids narrowed. "What are you talking about?" He asked, the tone of his voice sinking even further into something the Frenchman didn't want to get into- Gilbertneeded the truth.

"I'm talking about the fact you don't even realize your dear brother is in love." Francis put a gentle hand on Gilbert's shoulder before the german wiped it off in disbelief. He didn't need the whole truth though, his friend would have fun figuring the other half out himself.

"West?" Gilbert's voice rang out, disbelief oozing from his dry laugh, though he held a bit of something after. Was that nervousness? "Naw..." He reasoned aloud, "West wouldn't know it if love bit him in the ass! It would get the stick in there out before he took notice! Kesesese..." Yes, that was just a trace of nervous laughter there.

"Ve...? Gil-Gil? Fran-Fran? What's going on? Luddy is in love?" Feliciano questioned, thoroughly confused. This wasn't the secret he knew... But Luddy was in love? Now he had to know with who... She wouldn't give things away easily, he knew- but she didn't know how love worked either- she'd end up giving her heart away and it being stomped on!

"No, you don't understand. This love of his... it _consumes _him, you just don't see it." Francis smiled further, then it fell once he looked at his watch. "Oh, drat, I meant to be home in half an hour, Feli dear, please come along, Gilbert, I'm afraid we have to be going. Good luck with your brother!" Francis then grabbed the Italian's wrist and dragged him back into the car before he sped off home, leaving Gilbert and feli both in a daze, unable to believe this new information.

"My brother... my West... in love?" He questioned the higher powers, looking to the sky. With that thought in his mind, he walked his bike home as he was now clouded and confused to the point it would have been dangerous to ride.

"Where in the world were you?!" was the first thing he heard when he arrived home to an extremely bothered and tired-looking West, a couple books on the table but none of them cracked open, instead just a cold cup of coffee that went untouched. "Do you have any idea what time it is? I was worried sick!" Ludwig had stood up from the kitchen table upon the opening of the front door, rushing over once she saw it was Gilbert.

"It's Feli, isn't it?" he accused, without explanation. "That's why he was over with Francis..." looking a little more than slightly bothered, Gilbert looked up from the floor at his younger sibling, something odd about his face, but a frown apparent.

"What are you talking about?" Ludwig stopped on the way over, now curious about Gilbert's change in attitude and that frown she rarely saw on his face towards her. "I told you Feli was here getting pasta..." Did Francis tell him? No... he'd be acting much different if he had. For one, she imagined Gilbert would be sick at the sight of her, or remain perfectly silent and not talk to her, or both.

"Maybe that's why he came, but not why you let him stay." Looking up, red eyes met blue, and Ludwig started forward again. Yes, Francis had definitely told him something, but she was utterly confused as to what, since it wasn't the secret that he'd found out.

"Brother, I think it's time for you to go to bed, you've been out a bit long." Better get him away before he thought about anything further. It had taken a minute, but Ludwig finally realized what Francis had told his friend. That she was in love... though he didn't say with who. What else could it be?

"I know West. I know now. But he doesn't realize. He doesn't... care. He won't... " his eyes widened in horror as he realized what that would mean and he paused to swallow thickly. "He doesn't deserve you."

"Come on, Gilbert, up to bed. I don't know why you're talking about Feli, but he's perfectly fine. You on the other hand are incredibly tired." The blonde then steered Gilbert towards the stairs, urging him into bed. Oh gott, don't think about it, don't think about it.

"No West. He doesn't care. He doesn't deserve you. He'll... never love you back." He can't know... I'll deny anything to do with it.

"Love? Now you're just being ridiculous. I wouldn't say love, but he is very dear to me, and I don't appreciate you putting him down. You need rest, and I will make sure you're not sick. Though you'd deserve it for running out the window in the middle of the night and worrying me nearly to sickness." Finally ushering him into bed, Ludwig even took care of his clothes, though as usual couldn't bring herself to pull off his boxers, even if he slept without them.

"West... " tired and now in bed, Gilbert finally allowed himself to fall asleep thinking of what Francis said, dwelling on it even in his dreams.

"There you go. Now I want you to talk sensibly in the morning, you better tell me why you're suddenly hostile towards Feliciano. And don't go giving me a half-assed excuse, you seriously insulted him this time." After tucking him in, she finally made her way to her own bed, exhausted after worrying about him for hours on end, staying awake just long enough to take off the restricting clothing and bindings, and cover herself in the sheets.


	3. Chapter 3

_Hey guys, sorry about the wait. Things have been going on, went to a con, etc. so hope it hasn't been too long. Enjoy! - Frauggie_

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Gilbert was the first awake in the wee hours of the morning, jumping up after a nightmare about Ludwig, and rushed to her room just to make sure the younger was alright. The dream had consisted of a tall blonde head walking away from him, the resounding clack of steel toed boots covering the painful thumps his heart was making. Those icy blue eyes had been wide with the thin lips in a very pronounced frown of disgust as Gilbert was left to fend for himself, all around him the ravages of half-dried blood, guts, and grime. War, and Ludwig was walking right into it, away from the safety of Gilbert's arms.

"West..." he panted, and instead of his dream he looked through the cracked door to see the sleeping form breathing slowly in and out. Quietly, he shut the door with a small click and slid down the wall, completely relieved. "Gott, that scared me..." _Don't do that to me West... don't leave me too_. His eyes shifted to the darkness around him before he let out a long, quiet sigh. "Maybe he was right... I am tired, maybe I _am_ sick." It was quite a task to take a few minutes to chase the nightmare images out of his mind in order to settle it and his nerves.

As soon as he was comfortable however, he drifted right back off into unconsciousness until a set of blue eyes and blonde hair found him a couple hours and the ring of the alarm later. "Brother? Why are you-... are you sleeping?" Bending down to pick him up and put him back in bed, she wondered why he was out in the hallway in the first place, but no logical answer came. "I'll just have to ask when you're awake," she muttered, heaving a breath and lifting the man.

He was a bit heavier than years previously, though that was a good sign. In the past times he'd been much too thin, and she could only hope he'd gain more weight. _Come to think of it, I haven't carried him in a while,_ she mused, turning to carry him straight to his room like a princess. "West... don't..." Ludwig paused at the words, knowing Gilbert wasn't one to talk in his sleep. "...pancakes." She silently snorted with laughter, realizing that perhaps she just hadn't heard it, since he was clearly fast off in dreamland now. Was that even a bit of drool? It took everything not to burst into laughter right then and there.

"But you like pancakes, don't you mean you want them?" She allowed herself to chuckle, only half waiting for a response. Without one, she dumped him into his own bed, pulled the covers back up, and relented to go make the desired pancakes for him. "Fine. But I want answers, and you aren't getting a single bite of your pancakes until I get some." With that, she turned out of the room and down the stairs to the kitchen, resolute.

When Gilbert awoke for the second time it was to the pleasant smell of freshly made pancakes wafting throughout the house, and for the second time he threw back his covers and jumped out of bed. This time though, it was with a smile of joy plastered all over his face.

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeest!" he bounded down the stairs screaming, still clad only in his boxers and tackled the blonde, who thankfully knew to brace at the sound by now. Not that it helped because Gilbert was a full grown man with a lot of momentum behind him so when she fell down she at least made sure nothing would fall over with her, including the spatula she was using to flip the pancakes. It was then she remembered that in her haste she forgot to put the weighted padding on that compensated for her womanly curves since she was so distracted from finding her brother outside her door snoring. _Verdammnt._ "Man West, are you losing weight? Not only do you feel thinner, but you're lighter too." He was lifting her to her feet with a hand clasped in hers as he usually did, and she fought to keep her stoic face on.

"I must have lost a lot of it worrying about you, especially after last night." came the retort, the slight flutter of nerves not as audible as she thought it would be. It wasn't an answer, but hopefully it would distract him enough to not think about the overwhelming difference.

Gilbert frowned as his mood dampened, knowing she'd bring the subject of last night up and he made his usual attempts to skirt around the issue. "Can't be it. Must be my overwhelming awesomeness!" Just to show off, he flexed an arm at her and grinned. "Must be getting awesomely stronger!"

"I'm sure that's it." Stated with direct sarcasm, Gilbert took it as a compliment and cackled while his grin spread. She had to interrupt though, as he was blocking the entry back into the kitchen. "Now could you let me finish cooking? They're almost ready to eat by now, and I at least want to make sure they don't burn."

Looking over, he saw the splendid golden patch in the pan and on the plate and nearly squeaked. "Pancakes!" He then scrambled to sit in a chair and drool, and eagerly waited for his meal to come so he could wolf them down. If he had a tail, it'd be wagging with enough ferocity to knock the table over. In fact, Ludwig thought she imagined such a tail, it would have made more sense than some other things that had happened recently.

She went back to flipping the pancakes though, unfazed by his behavior. Her back turned to him, her voice held more confidence than she thought it would. "With one condition. You tell me where the hell you were last night and why you were so late."

Gilbert's stomach flipped. That was the last thing he wanted to talk about, especially as he didn't even know the answer himself yet. At least, not all of it. "What, were you that worried? I always come home late!" As the grin wavered, he played it off like it was nothing for him to come slinking back home at 1 in the morning after running out the window. Even he noted it was somewhat pathetic behavior, but this was the truth. Why _did _he spend so much time to get away from West? Sure he scared the bejeesus out of Gilbert sometimes, but it wasn't like he disliked being with this younger sibling. As one would think, he enjoyed living with West, so much so he couldn't imagine living with another. Then a thought struck him. _What about West? Could West leave him and live with another? With..._ he hated to think it, but the idea stuck in his mind. _Could West live with... Italy?_

Ludwig's enraged voice brought him out of his thoughts though, and Gilbert offered up a slight exasperated thank you. "You think this is funny?! I was worried sick about you! And then you come home like... like _that _and start saying weird things? Not to mention I find you outside my door this morning? What in the world is going on brother? And do not try to tell me 'nothing'."

Her glare bore through him, and Gilbert's grin fell fast as his mind wandered back to the previous night and what Francis had told him: that his little brother was _in love_. And the only person he could think that it could be true for was Feliciano. _Why else would he be there?_ The more he thought about West and Feliciano, the more they seemed like a couple in love. Feliciano snuck into West's bed more often than sleeping in his also took every opportunity and even made some of his own to hug West, once going so far as to burst in on West in the shower! Every thought turned the Prussian's mood darker, more disturbed, and even _angry_. He didn't stop to think about the feelings though. West was his brother, he'd never done things to hurt himself like that before... _Unless West didn't think he was being hurt,_ a little voice in the back of Gilbert's head cooed.

"Brother?" Ludwig was confused at not only the lack of response from the man, but when she looked at him, she saw the ever darkening features. "Is everything... alright? I'd still like an answer."

Startled from his thoughts, Gilbert looked up suddenly at Ludwig's concerned face, his own lightening slightly with the angelic features. "Huh? Oh... yeah, just..." he felt himself go on, unsure exactly what he wanted to tell her.

"Just?" Ludwig questioned, not going to allow him to get away with changing the subject. She'd asked a question, she expected an answer, even if it was some excuse he usually gave. That's what was so disconcerting about the conversation, she realized. He _wasn't_ giving her an excuse, let alone an answer.

"Just nothing," he mumbled, turning his eyes away from the piecing blue eyes and all too innocent features. "I feel like getting some air." turning away, the elder got up to go back to his room and brood, just what he did best. _This was getting some air? Slinking back to his room and leaving both West and breakfast out there? How pathetic can I be? _There were important matters to consider though, he reasoned as he shook his head of worrisome thoughts. _Sorry West, I have to find out just how that little Italian is screwing with you. Then I can face you and- _He stopped, then shook his head yet again as he ran up the stairs. _Then I can face you and be myself._ He wasn't sure if that was what he was about to say, but that's what sounded closest right now to what he felt.

"Brother? Gilbert! Get back here, you haven't eaten yet!" Ludwig, stunned, shouted after him but it was no use. "They're... pancakes." Her voice trailed off a little in defeat, deciding this was definitely odd for his behavior. If she had to guess who would know the answer, it would be _him_. Pulling out her phone, she tried to call Francis and ask just what in the world happened last night since she was absolutely sure her brother went out chasing after them to find out. All she got however, was a busy signal, and since it was about last night and not his usual nightly adventures, next on the list was Feliciano.

"Ve?" just waking up, Feliciano sounded groggy, airy, and clearly just waking up.

Ludwig didn't hesitate though, this was an important matter and she'd heard his groggy voice all too often to really care. "Feliciano? I'm... no... could you...," she paused, steeling herself more and swallowing a few nerves that threatened to show. "Would you be able to tell me what happened last night, after you and Francis left?"

As always, it was a pleasure to hear his friend talk, and though she couldn't see it a smile broadened across his features. She would have heard it in his voice though if she wasn't so concentrated on her brother, as it perked up a bit with the knowledge Feliciano was talking to her."Luddy? Eh, well, Gil-Gil came and demanded Fran-Fran to tell him what we were doing over at your place." He paused then, waiting for her next question. She was always on his case to get to the point, and with her this worried, it was only natural she wouldn't have as much patience. Was she really that worried over Gil-Gil?

Ludwig though, took a moment to recall just why she had Feliciano come over when Francis showed up to say he had found out her secret, and she panicked. _How much did either of them know? How much did Gilbert know?_ "And did... " she gulped, nearly afraid of the answer. "Did Francis tell him?"

"Well yes," Feliciano slipped easily, sending Ludwig into an even higher state of panic and she froze, not even realizing she had started pacing in the kitchen while on the phone. He quickly realized his mistake there, and started to elaborate. "But Fran-Fran didn't say much, just that Luddy was in love with someone. I don't.. " and here he started to whisper, looking around himself, knowing Ludwig didn't like the next part being spoken at all. "I don't think Fran-Fran knows Luddy's a... Luddy's other secret." Pulling himself straight again, Feliciano's eyes still wandered around looking for those who might be listening.

At this, Ludwig was so relieved, her mind skipped over the entire fact Feliciano had just spoken about her other secret, and she focused on the first statement. "So, he doesn't know?"

"He knows Luddy loves someone," at this he giggled and jumped as Romano walked into the room. "But he thinks Luddy loves me! Your plan worked Luddy! Ah! Ve, I have to go, _ciao_!" and he quickly hung up, leaving Ludwig in a daze as he hid the fact he was on the phone from his groggy brother.

_So_ that _was why he went off about Feliciano. But, why would he be in such a bad mood if-_ her thoughts paused for a moment of realization and hopefulness. _No, no, he couldn't be, could he? No, it's too much to hope for. He's definitely not_ jealous.


End file.
